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A satellite floats through the sky, traveling approximately 17,000 miles per hour, an incomprehensible speed as I simply sit like a stone. But I suppose that even when I am still, the earth rotates and revolves, so even the steadiest of stones is never actually completely still. But I am not moving myself; herein lies the difference.

Sometimes I wish I had the ability to fly. BASE jumpers or wing suiters probably get the closest that a human can, but the ability to soar and lift yourself, under your own power, high into the sky will always be something humans can really only dream about.

Hummingbirds fly at a speed of 20 to 30 miles per hour, a housefly travels at 4.5 to 5 miles per hour, and most humans walk at a speed of roughly 2.5 to 3.5 miles per hour. Recovery from foot surgery over the past few weeks has had me contemplating a lot of alternatives to using my feet. Mostly right now, the secret to not getting overwhelmed is finding ways to calm my nervous system when I start looking at the long road ahead. For someone with a tenuously small amount of self-confidence, I realize I have to put my worth into other things, which is easier said than done.

Uncertainty in Life

What are some things you do when you are injured? I try to make art, meditate — like actually, sit-and-close-my-eyes meditation — visit the river on my crutches, plant seeds and pull weeds in my garden, do some physical therapy exercises, and daydream a lot about the places I hope to go. Friends have periodically gotten coffee and dinner with me, but even so, sometimes it’s hard to show up with a smile when I have nowhere to go and nothing to actually do.

I was talking with a close friend recently who also had a major surgery and is also struggling with the mental challenge of it, and the thing we both struggle with is purpose. Lots of people find it in a job, a relationship, parenthood, running races, you name it, but when you find yourself as an adult unable to do or have any of those things, where then do you find purpose?

For a lot of my life, I thought purpose came from setting goals, getting a particular job, finishing a race, or finding love. But after all those have come and gone, I’m realizing they aren’t the secret to happiness, largely because they aren’t guaranteed. The well-known Western Buddhist Pema Chodron, whom I’ve referenced in this monthly column before, says life is all about facing and accepting uncertainty, as well as taking life as it comes, the good and the bad. Some things you can’t change; they just are, and you have to learn to exist with them.

Uncertainty in Mountaineering

Mountaineering is quite similar to life in many ways. As I was having dinner with friends, a mountaineering incident came up: a big avalanche on Broad Peak in Pakistan’s Karakoram mountains. After dinner, I Googled the accident, and my heart sank.

Last fall, as I was in a coffee shop in Lukla, Nepal, after trekking through the mountains for a couple of weeks, I sat next to two people. I was there alone, and most others were in large guided groups. The coffee shop was packed, and these two were willing to talk to me as everyone anxiously waited for the weather to clear so we could fly out. I picked up on Mallory Geis’s American accent and asked where she was from; she said Texas. We started talking about mountains. Her guide, Sohail Sakhi, started telling me how magical and beautiful the mountains in his home of Pakistan are. Three of the biggest mountain ranges in the world, he explained, converge in Northern Pakistan, giving way to extreme beauty that even the Khumbu region of Nepal can’t compare to. He showed me photos, and I took down his name and information. Perhaps someday I would call him up and make a trip to climb a peak there.

As I read both his name and Mallory’s among the 10 people caught in the avalanche, I felt a knot form in my stomach.

Mountaineers always face unforeseen challenges and accept the risks; an avalanche is a variable that can strike at any moment. It made me think of the fragility and uncertainty of life at any point. If we don’t accept it, our hearts and minds will be in pain, wondering if, what, and when. For the folks on Broad Peak, their spirits now rest in the mountains.

I’m not writing anything new here; more so, it’s just a reminder to myself. Learning to feel ok in life, whatever we’re handed, is a lifelong process. Being ok isn’t glamorous, but it’s all we can ever really hope for.

Call for Comments

• What coping mechanisms do you have for the uncertainty in life?

Being Ok by Hannah Green.